The chair my butt broke

So I plop myself down the other day into my {not} favorite {but it’s the only one I own} blogging chair (the chair where I do most of my blogging)…

And wouldn’t you know it? There’s a crrraaaaaack and my arse is on the floor. Awesome.


I guess I finally exceeded the weight limit. A summer full of gorging on ice cream and cookies has finally caught up with me.

There’s no way I’m tossing out my $25 garage sale chair that I bought IN the actual real for real hills of Beverly Hills. Nope. Not gonna happen.

So I took the chair apart and fixed it.


It really was a snap to fix. The support holding the base is only a 1×1 little piece of wood that was screwed into the back in three places. I just moved the support up about an inch and screwed it back in.


I didn’t screw it back into the same holes because those ones were ripped and torn to shreds from my big ol’ butt plopping down too many times.

One of the many things I’ve wanted to do to this chair is remove both side panels to give it a more open feel. Now was as good a time as any considering I already had the chair in pieces. So I removed the panels and reassembled the chair.


Once it was all put back together I took a step back to admire my handy work. Um… no-to-the-double-o-o-o-o-oh.


That pretty much looks about a stupid as anything. So now I get to take apart the entire chair… again… to reinsert the panels. *facepalm*


And finally. I can finally get back to chillaxin in my temporary chair in my living room (yes, I totally plan to get some cute chairs for this spot).


I bought the chair with the full intention of painting and recovering it. Yet, here it is, a year and a half later… still brown.

But the moral of the story… if your butt is too big and you break your chair, don’t throw it out. Just fix it. (The chair, not your butt.) And now that the chair is fixed, I guess I really should get on that diet I promised myself I’d do months ago. And since I’m opening up that New Years Resolution can-o-worms, I guess I should say I’m in the exact same place I was 8 months ago. Nom nom nom.

And for those haters out there who think this was a completely useless post, I’m trying to motivate you and show you that just because something breaks doesn’t mean you have to throw it away. Use your brain, figure it out, and fix it. And quit being a hater!

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  1. Haha!!! I love the message to the haters lol. But back to the post…I love the fact that you fixed the chair. I actually would have thrown it out because I would have been too mad at the chair for insinuating that my butt was too big for it lol.

  2. Dude, I didn’t even know the side panels were there until you pointed them out. Awesome job with the fix!

  3. Cheap ass Chineese made chair. Had nothing to do with your butt….I’m sure.

  4. Are there really people who would call a post pointless? Seriously? Like they actually comment about how pointless it was? Why even bother commenting.

    I appreciate this post. Before blogging came along I would throw out anything that broke. Because of bloggers like you I am motivated to try and fix more things myself. So THANK YOU!

  5. haha good job, again! PS My bestie shared what skinny b#*ches eat…… AIR! nom nom nom.

  6. Thanks for the laugh… I totally needed that tonight! Not a useless post at all! You did a fabulous job with fixing that chair. I’m sure it was already a little bit broken, and totally not your fault! 🙂

  7. Good job on fixing that chair! And good luck on the diet. I have myself started to do something about my weight…. 30 down, 50 to go …
    Will be looking out to see how you are doing.

  8. Still stewing about the rug post? 😉 You are entertaining as always, and I don’t know if I’d have thought (or had the gumption) to take the chair apart and figure out how to fix it. One- smart cookie! 🙂

  9. YA ! good message for the haters. Why can’t losing weight be easy? I seem to have the gaining part figured out… but the losing… not so much. 🙂

    Always love reading you. 🙂

  10. Gotta love the haters!!!!

  11. Ter'e Crow Lindsay says:

    Yer booty had nothing to do with it. Did you see that little bity tiny piece of wood holding your weight up? Pluleeaassee…………..this chair was for the “lettuce eaters” only. That’s what I call those waif thin people!!!!!

    By the way…………………..a little color here would be glorious! You need a womanly chair that looks HAPPY! *grin*

  12. good for you ! I love that you showed how you fixed it…you have good stick-to-it-tive-ness…

  13. OMG you make me laugh and thanks for giving me this present on Monday morning bc Mondays suck here. 🙂

  14. I think that is a great chair and I am glad that you fixed it. It looks easy to recover I can not wait to see what you are going to do with it and I have been procrastinating a diet too…

  15. That was NOT a useless post… You fixed for more use an already re-purposed chair! That’s awesome!

  16. That looks like a comfy blogging chair. Right now I sit in a big ol maroon recliner. It inspires more naps than posts.

    I saw a video of myself at the end of April and promised myself I would drop some weight. Still the same today. I keep thinking, “Dang! four months! I could a have lost at least 20-25 lbs” We should put our heads together and find a way. Surely, two Texans, a Longhorn and an Aggie, can find a way to kick Weight’s butt! 😀

  17. Way to go! I actually like your chair- as is! Haha! Though, if you do decide to refinish it- I’m sure it’ll look fantastic as your projects always do.

  18. haha.. you made me laugh out loud in my office. That cracks me up! I’m with you though… fix it first!

  19. It wasn’t your tushie that broke the chair. The problem is that chair is built to hold someone from someone in Beverly Hills. They have lyposuction for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, don’t they?

  20. Ha! You are cracking me up! What is with the icecream anyway? I’m having the same problem! Now I’m going to have to go check out your link to the HoH weight loss community : )

  21. You are hilarious! I’m glad you were able to fix your favorite chair, though. 🙂

  22. WOW! I wouldn’t have even thought to have fixed the chair! You are awesome! (and I use a lot of exclamation points!!)

  23. Crystal Williams says:

    Allison, as usual, you totally crack me up! Love your posts! Keep up the good work, Girl.

  24. Nom nom nom!!

    BTW I love “useless posts”, esp if they are written by funny people who are great writers!! not everything has to be on topic. IMO.

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